Book Description

Karen Solt, an eighteen-year-old nonconformist with an alcohol problem, is working at a gas station when a slick Navy recruiter railroads her into enlisting in the military. Before she knows it, she is on a ship in the Deep South, struggling to navigate not only a world much different from her small Northern Arizona hometown but also her new discovery: she’s gay.

Figuring out her sexuality clarifies many things, but also creates a daunting new set of problems, for Karen. It’s 1984: being gay in the Navy is considered a crime, and gay Sailors are regularly hunted by the Navy Criminal Investigative Service. Discovery means being kicked out, and by this point she is committed to the uniform (and to remaining with her first girlfriend, who is also enlisted). So she learns to hide her secret and find a way to serve—and even thrive professionally—without getting caught. But concealing her truth ultimately leads to devastating consequences.

A story of desire, addiction, the damage of secrets, the power of community, and the soul-crushing cost of turning people into “others,” Hiding for my Life is a celebration of the resilience of the human spirit—and a poignant call for each of us to come out from hiding and live our truth.

Awards

Best Book Awards Finalist in LGBTQ+ Nonfiction

Early Reviews

“A powerful consideration of the tension between personal integrity and serving one’s country.” —Kirkus Reviews (Starred Review)

“Solt is remarkably evenhanded about her service, balancing an awareness of the scars her secrecy caused with an appreciation for the “new family, purpose, and place to hide the Navy provided. This clear-eyed account does justice to Solt’s pain.” —Publishers Weekly

“Thoroughly captivating.” —Grethe Cammermeyer, COL (ret), RN, PhD, USAR, and author of Serving in Silence

“Solt takes us on a moving journey through an era—not too long ago—when LGBTQ people serving in the military had to sacrifice their identities. Solt’s emotional writing helps us viscerally feel what it was like for her to be constantly looking over her shoulder, wary lest she lose everything because of who she loves. As she faces tough choices with sometimes tragic consequences, we applaud her spirit and resilience.” —Patricia Grayhall, author of Making the Rounds

“Honest, revealing, heartfelt, and insightful. Navy life is extremely demanding, and Solt certainly opened my eyes to the additional struggles that we imposed on a community of sailors that not only affected them, but those close to them as well. Reading it made me want to personally shake the hand of every sailor who had to endure those draconian policies and thank them for their service.” —Joe R. Campa Jr., 11th Master Chief Petty Officer of the US Navy

“In a story of love and survival, Karen Solt reveals the harsh realities of being gay in the navy prior to and during ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.’ It’s not until she retires that the true cost of concealment becomes clear. This is a poignant rendering of an important historical period that reveals the complexity of service life for gays and the losses they endured. A great read.” —Carol E. Anderson, DMin, author of You Can’t Buy Love Like That: Growing Up Gay in the Sixties

“Hiding for my Life recalls the bad old days and all the energy we lost maintaining our closets. This memoir reminds me that we won’t go back.”
—Willa Goodfellow, author of Prozac Monologues: A Voice from the Edge