You’re not going to like these next words, but to come out from hiding and live in your truth, you will have to dig deep into the dark places that you have been trying to avoid for a long time.
However, there is nothing more fulfilling than coming back out.
It’s scary—this digging. It’s a journey out of your (dis)comfort zone and into mysterious parts of yourself that you have lost; parts of yourself that you fear. You don’t know who you’ll be when you come back out. You fear that your relationships will change—that those you love won’t love the authentic you. After all, the reason that you went into hiding in the first place was that you experienced rejection for being yourself. You fear that you won’t be able to control your emotions—that you’ll be a wreck and that your tears won’t stop if you let them flow over the dam you’ve built to keep them contained. You fear that your world will look completely different and that you might not like the “you” that shows up on the other side of this work. I know these fears intimately. They were mine too.
Fear is powerful. It is what sent you into and is keeping you in hiding. Bravely facing your fears and choosing something different is what will help you solve the riddle of reclaiming your life.
Yes, I’m an intuitive wizard, so I heard you. You are wondering, “But where do I start? I want to live more authentically and be happier, but I’m afraid. How do I even begin to uncover and bring out the parts of me that are hidden?” Those are great questions. Seriously. Even reading this far is a great indication that you’re on the right track.
The first thing I would encourage you to do is to write down all the ways that you believe you hide. You can check out some of my previous blogs, as I have written about many—not all—of the ways that we hide. Some of the more common are people pleasing, addiction, rescuing (caretaking) others, and fitting in. Being a perfectionist is a common way of hiding, as is dimming your light—otherwise known as dumbing yourself down. Many of our hiding ways are universal, but all affect each of us uniquely and personally.
After you write down the ways, ask yourself which one you’re willing to work on first. Which one are you willing to face? Does that scare you? Of course, it does. Then ask yourself these three questions: 1) What will I lose if I keep hiding like this? 2) What will I possibly gain if I stop this form of hiding and come out? 3) Am I willing to take a risk on myself to live a freer, happier, and more authentic life? At a minimum, you are creating some combat self-awareness with this process.
I won’t lie. This is not easy work, and you will not be the same on the other side. You will be “you”, more authentic and real than you have been in a very long time. You will start to experience true freedom because you won’t be hiding anymore. Step by little step, you will look at your hiding patterns and you will choose a different way of living your life. Before you know it, choosing something different won’t be work. It will be natural—because you will be natural.
So, do something that scares you. Muster up your courage, face your fears, and take one step back into being who you are. If the world has taught us anything in the past handful of years, it’s that we have work to do to create a more peaceful planet. That starts with each of us doing our own work first so that we don’t project our unfinished business onto each other. It’s time to set yourself free. Because truly, what scares you more? Facing your fears and coming out from hiding or living the rest of your life in fear of being your true self?
If you’d like to join my next Coming Out from Hiding course or do personal one-on-one coaching to help you in your journey of reclaiming your life, contact me here.
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