I, like you, remember 9-11 as if it were yesterday. The images seared in my mind. My feelings—confusion, disbelief, fear, panic, dismay, powerlessness, sorrow, anger—still easily accessible. Stuck in my heart and throat. Still haunting me. I’ll never forget that day.
I had already been serving in the U.S. Navy for 17 years when 9-11 occurred. I was leaving my hometown in Northern Arizona to drive back home to San Diego that morning, preparing to join a new command at Naval Station San Diego the following week. 9-11 stopped me in my tracks. It interrupted my excitement about my future command and I, like you, watched with horror as the planes flew into the towers. And I, like you, went numb as I watched people run and jump from the towers that collapsed into enormous clouds of dust.
My first confused thought: Thank God it’s so early in the morning. No one will be at work. But I was in Pacific time and New York was in Eastern time. Everyone was already at work. My next confused thought: How the fuck did this get past our intelligence agencies? As someone who grew up playing in the streets and who had been serving our country for many years at that point, my trust in our capabilities—my trust in America’s safety—was strong. Then I thought: Why would anyone want to attack us? As a Sailor in the U.S. Navy, I had personally witnessed how much humanitarian good we did in the world. I just didn’t understand.
At that point, my trust in who we were as a nation was solid. Sadly, that trust has been tested over and over. Especially in the last half-dozen years, which has been enormously heartbreaking. And I believe September 11th, 2001 lit the flame that has burned the path to where we are now. In the span of one day, we experienced a collective trauma. We became afraid. We changed how we look at each other. We changed how we view culture and ethnicity—how we view our neighbor. We changed how willing we were to keep our doors—our borders—open to those who, just like my ancestors, sought refuge. We lost our trust. We became vigilant and had to know where our family and friends and children were at every moment. We became paranoid. Our reactiveness made us defensive. It put us on the offense. It made us fight.
Because God forbid, we allow another attack on “our soil.”
We’ve spent the past 20 years making others pay for that day. We’ve also spent the last 20 years paying for that day. We’ve sent our troops—our Sailors, Marines, Soldiers and Airmen—into various countries to try and make those countries conform to our way of life, because we believe our way is THE way. We’ve done this, not because our way of life is perfect, but because we’re still afraid. We haven’t recovered from that day. The story that we’ve come to believe is this: If we don’t make our presence known, if we don’t keep our sights on those who might harm us and get them to conform to our way of living, we will experience another day just like 9-11. This we want to avoid at all costs.
My belief is that we need to tend to own wounds, of which we have many. We, America, are like the family who pretends that we have our shit together. We have a nice house. We go to church. We pay our bills. We wear nice clothing. We have parks and sports and schools for everyone. We’re inclusive. We’re free. We’re good. Right?
No. We’re not good. Because on the inside of our own house, we are fighting like never before. We’re hiding. We’re hiding from the things that need our attention, because looking at those things is overwhelming. It’s scary. We don’t trust that we won’t get hurt if we open our doors and love our neighbor. We don’t want to look at our homeless, our mentally ill, our addicted, our marginalized, or our wounded, because we’ll see our own pain. We’ll feel our own helplessness by looking into their eyes. We aren’t inclusive and don’t trust that there’s enough for ALL of us. We don’t trust the adults that we wish we could trust have our best interests at the top of their agenda. We don’t trust that our house—our soil that we abuse—will be safe if we let our guard down.
We must get honest with where we’re at if we’re going to find a way out. Let’s get real. We don’t value differences. We view each other with skepticism. We have taken sides within our own home. We don’t see family members. We don’t see neighbors on the same team. We see ‘others.’ And each side is unwilling to find their way into the living room for a discussion about how to move forward. We’re afraid of being deceived because we’ve been deceived time and time again.
This didn’t begin, but it was certainly placed into fast motion, on 9-11.
We can heal and move forward. I wholeheartedly believe we can. But we must take off our armor and come out from hiding. We each must come down from our side of the fence, meet the ‘other’ in the middle and get honest about our fears. About our own insecurities. About our own hopes. If we can do that, we just might see that ‘other’ as ourselves. We all want the same thing. Freedom, peace, love, joy, good health, prosperity—a safe and principled America for future generations. A place where others can find a home where they’re valued and safe. We all want harmony. We all want our children to safely play in the streets again. Every one of us wants that on a deep level…I firmly believe that.
The place to start is in our own homes, in our own families, in our own communities. Not by fighting with an unknown personality on social media. We have to look into each other’s eyes to really see the ‘other.’ It isn’t as difficult to get there as we make it out to be. It only takes courage and vulnerability to take a seat at the table and listen. I know I say, “only,” but continuing in this direction is not the way out.
Oh, and let’s not wait for the “adults” to get their shit together, because they won’t. We know that. And let’s not look to the media for solutions, because living in the solution will kill their ratings and their agenda. Let’s change our expectations, take the reins, and come to the table because we have to. It’s our job to create the world that we all seek and the way out is by opening our minds and valuing our unique differences—by treating others with love, compassion and respect.
I know, I know, I’m just a dreamer, but those who lost their lives on 9-11 want us to get there. They are rooting for us, willing us to recover and to remember who we strive to be. Not perfect—never perfect—but always with a desire to be better. Because if we don’t, 9-11 will continue to victimize us. If we don’t, 9-11, and the terrorists who made that day happen, will continue to win.
Copywrite 2021 by Hideology™ and Karen Solt, all rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Hideology™, Karen Solt and Hideology.com.
❤️❤️❤️💯 Yes Preach Sister 🙏🏼🙏🏼✌🏼✌🏼
Powerful. Thank you.