I had what Oprah would call, a “lightbulb moment” this week. Actually, that phrase doesn’t do it justice. A sledgehammer? I’m not sure. What I do know is that I discovered something that I’m hoping will create what I constantly speak about, more peace and balance in my life.
My discovery happened when I was at a retreat last weekend. About half way into the first day, I realized that I couldn’t remember the last time that I had a day without work. As I work from home and do a variety of things, “work” is a bit challenging to define. I wear many hats…struggle setting work boundaries…constantly in it. And, because I love my work, truly, it’s hard to not have my head and heart “in it,” even when I’m not in my office. Yet, I didn’t notice how much of me was consumed by my work until I had a weekend away (after frantically getting my weekly obligations done in four days). My exhale was loud and noticeable.
What has happened for me, and why I share this, is that I believe that many of you might struggle with the same hidden saboteur:
The more I have gotten into my dream-work, the more I have attached “perfectionism” to my work.
My nature is to do things well, but when I get into perfectionism, it’s a way that I hide from being seen.
Reviews, edits, scripting videos, all in an attempt to not make a mistake…to stay hidden. By getting so perfectionistic, I have lost a lot of my flow; I eventually lose my authentic voice, as each edit takes me away from the true nature of my creativity.
The side effect of getting so engrossed in my work is that other things have suffered and taken a backseat. My fitness has taken a hit…actually, sitting and writing so much has created a very familiar attention-getting pain in my back and my hips. My playtime has taken a hit…I need to get out and play, enjoy time connecting with awesome people and super-awesome doggies. My chill-out-ed-ness has taken a hit…this girl has gotten way too serious, which is a disease in itself. I could go on…I won’t…you’re welcome.
I work and expose my life in an effort to create the world that I seek.
And just as my motto says, that world is within me and I also believe it’s within you. I believe in self-compassion, and hopefully when you see and feel my work, you will see a part of yourself and not feel alone.
Your struggle is my struggle, your joy is my joy…we are much more alike than we are different.
So, starting this week, I’m taking the pressure off, as the pressure I have placed on myself has become pain…it has become imbalance. This is not a complaint, but a grateful awareness. I’m going to keep expressing and creating, with less perfectionism attached (hopefully…God, please 🙏🏻). Whatever you take from my personal insights, I hope it’s the same as mine…to notice where you have created some unnecessary pressure and readjust. Because at the end of the day, the goal is to enjoy your awesome life…at least that’s my story.